The Orchid Thief: More Textbook, Less Story

Our first class discussion on one of the required readings concluded last week and boy was it a fun class. There was a general consensus from the class about the ups and massive pitfalls of the book The Orchid Thief (1998) by Susan Orlean, and its film adaptation titled.. Adaptation (2002). Which I can't decide if the film title was a joke, a play on words, or trying to be witty. I'm not sure if I'll ever know.

I am going to start with the book because I want to keep with the format of my previous posts that I did on both book and film. I'm going to try and employ some of the theories and methods of adaptation studies that we have been learning about in class, but I am going to try and not include too much extra class stuff because I want to try and stick to just the reviews as I have done since the start of my getting-back-into-reading-adventure.

First, I didn't really like this book. Probably not something I would have chosen to read of my own free-will, but because it was for class, here we are. The only thing I liked about the book was that I learned some neat stuff about orchids that I never knew. That was the only thing.

There is many a thing I didn't like about the book, and in conjunction, the movie as well. For example, there was no character development. You learned a lot about the people that Susan Orlean talked to, particularly John Laroche, but it was all history-of-the-person type stuff and there was really no story or character arc for him throughout the novel's many many pages of information on orchids. All the other 'characters' - all real life people by the way - were never fleshed out either except for their backstory/history of why they were all in the orchid business. The book is about 'passion' but I felt like Susan didn't dig deep enough into all the people she met's thoughts, feelings, desires, hopes, dreams or ambitions. It was all a bunch of this happened to this person and now they're obsessed with orchids or this person bought or was gifted their first orchid in blah blah year and now they're obsessed with orchids now too.

Secondly, because there was very little to no character development, there was hardly any story or plot at all. So much orchid information, and orchid history, and history of Florida and swamps and real estate. This book might as well have been a freaking textbook. I think I would have accepted it more if it was.

However, I have to take into consideration that Susan is by employ a journalist and not an author. On that point, I do have to give her props on her research of orchids and due-diligence of getting her facts straight. So, there is that.

Very few people in my class liked the book, and they mostly just liked the orchid info, or the parallels to art and nature and passion and beauty that do come up in it. The overall consensus was towards dislike, and our professor wasn't really surprised; which was funny.

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Now... the movie... where do I even start?

I have to use the words of the one girl in my class: "two hours of a sad wank." I agree! This movie had big names, got nominated for Academy Awards, has a 91% Rotten Tomatoes rating and a 85% Popcorn Flick rating and it is freaking horrible! Aside from like three people, my whole class couldn't believe what they were watching.

It had no character development, same as the book, and some of the main characters weren't even characters in the book! The whole film was about Nick Cage's character, Charlie, trying to adapt The Orchid Thief book into a movie. The plot was about film adaptation and not even about the plot of the book. Parts of the book plot were in there, but the movie was pretty much done with what happened in the book halfway through and the second half was a complete and total gong-show mess of crap dialogue and Hollywood tropes. It turned the whole movie into a stereo-typical thriller and went completely off the rails.

The ending was completely made up and had NOTHING to do with the book at all. I hated it. It made no sense. Basically they took the words of the 'Hollywood exec' at the start of film: "Wouldn't it be nice if they fell in love?" and ran with it through a swamp, car chase, guns, drugs, murder plots and and alligator attack. I mean, to be fair, the book doesn't really have an ending either... it just sort of ends and that's it. So, I guess they had to do something with the movie.

My rant in class about this book and movie was quite lengthy and my professor, when I was done, actually asked me if I was sure I didn't have anything else to say. *deep breath*

The last thing I am going to say about this whole debacle is this: There is a quote that Donald says to Charlie in the swamp; "You are what you love, not what loves you." Almost the exact same quote, minus one word change, appears in a Fall Out Boy song Save Rock & Roll and the line is sung by the impeccable Elton John. I scoured the internet trying to find where the quote came from, and to my dismay, it originated with this disastrous movie and I now have no faith left in humanity. Such a great quote to come out of such a crap film.

#endrant

Screening the Text: I'm taking an Honours English class!

I haven't taken a university class in seven years; not since I got my undergrad back in 2011. (I feel old now). I'm super nervous. One of my best friends convinced me to take this senior English class with her this winter and with a topic like screen adaptation - I mean how could I say no?! That is my bread and butter! Have you read my blog posts? I live for that sh*t!

The first class is tomorrow and I'm happy to report that I have already read the first book, from the list of NINE that we have to read, over the holiday break. (Plus we also have to watch the film/TV show adaptations of each one as well.) It's also good that I have some 'opinions' already formed. I feel like I'm being an over-achiever. Like I said, I'm super nervous.

The list of books we're required to read for class are:

• The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean
• Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
• Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
• Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll
• Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling
• My Life in France by Julia Child
• Julie & Julia by Julie Powell
• Selections from Sherlock Holmes: Complete Novels and Stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

I already owned 3 of the books on the list. I got three others from Varagesale for a combined price of $10. The last three I purchased through the university bookstore in USED condition for fairly cheap. All in all, one of the cheapest books loads for a class I have ever had.

The only two I have read before are Sense and Sensibility and Philosopher's Stone. First book on the list was The Orchid Thief, and I am about a third of the way through Great Expectations, the longest book on the list. I definitely wanted to get a head start on that one.

I haven't read Jane Austen since I was in high school, so I'm excited to tackle that one again. I'm sure I'll have a different perspective on it now than I did then. And Harry Potter... guaranteed after I read that first one again I'm going to go through all of them once class is done. I haven't read them since they first came out when I was a kid. Yeah, a long time ago. I do remember them quite clearly though. And for all those reading this thinking: "Who doesn't read Harry Potter more than once?! Every couple of years? Or every year? All the way through? Like the words live in your blood?!" I get it. I'm one of those. But, I can say, that I have a few friends who haven't even read them through ONCE! So there.

I'm most excited to read Alice in Wonderland and Julie & Julia. Alice has been on my TBR pile since forever, but surprisingly was not on my Reading Challenge list. Either way, this will give me a chance to finally cross it off. I've seen the movie for Julie & Julia, and it was really cute, so I'm looking forward to seeing what the book is like.

As per usual with my reading, and this class is going to be no different, I have been taking lots of notes in my book journal and plan to post about each book. What I thought - book vs movie/show - what we discussed in class, what the discussion made me think about differently, my opinions, etc. etc.

I'm looking forward to it. I hope those who read this are too!

***I doubt I'll get in any other 'for pleasure' reading while taking this class, so those posts will be delayed until end of April when I start up again. But then again, who knows, maybe I'll just become a reading machine and get some other books done too!***

Awesome Movies Fall/Winter 2018

This is a just a random post of awesome movies I watched Fall and Winter of 2018 and a little blurb of what I thought about each movie. 😉 There is not particular order to this list... actually it came out in alphabetical order, so let's go with that!

This one is excellent just for the fact of the two actress! Really though, this film was funny, smart, plenty of twists and intrigue and it did not end the way I thought. 

What do I even say about this movie that hasn't already been said?! If Lady Gaga doesn't win some sort of Best Actress Award at either the Golden Globes or Oscars I will be completely shocked.

This one has been on my Netflix list for I don't even know how long and I decided to watch it the other night and wow. Not going to lie, thought it was a bit weird and boring, but WORTH IT for the ending alone. What. A. Twist.

I'm so happy I was in the right exact mood when I watched this one. I laughed. I laughed hard! And out loud. Great cast, music, comedy and story. I love that she just didn't give up her principles for the guy. Oh man, and the best friend and her family: Pure Gold.

Not going to lie, I'm digging the dark side and past of the magical wizarding world I've grown up loving. I like learning about what came before and what helped shape the world that Harry Potter grows up in. Can't wait for the next one after that big reveal at the end!

I like Netflix Originals. This one was top notch. Chris Pine did a great job with his accent, and Aaron Taylor-Johson as Douglas - what a crazy bastard. He was the best part of the movie, aside from the obvious. Two words: Pine Nuts.

Another Netflix one! This movie was HILARIOUS! I'm not even kidding. Everyone I have told to watch it has agreed. It is great for a laugh and a pretty darn good flick to boot. The two young assistants as the main characters were freaking great.

I never saw this movie when it first came out, and I wish I had. I really liked it. It was well put together and told the story well. In addition, I watched The Fifth Estate film about Julian Assange and this one was much better. Both casts were great, but this one kept me more engaged throughout.

Another awesomely great and hilarious movie. I mean, you can't go wrong with Sam Heughan as the secret agent love interest. The comedy was well done, well placed and paced, and it wasn't too out there, which made a big difference for me. 

This movie is absolutely ADORABLE. OMG. I love Lara Jean. She is honest and shy and funny and just didn't get how freaking awesome she was! I'm glad she had the arc she did in the story. I want more! I can't wait for the second movie to come out.

My husband said that there is a finally a movie that has done Venom justice. I liked the comedic relief throughout the movie. I think the VFX for the symbiotes was good and kept the creepiness and alien-ness of them very intact. Not sure about the casting for Carnage though...

This movie did not go the way I thought it would, and although it deals with a rough topic I couldn't stop watching. Both Renner and Olsen did superb acting and the ending was super sad, but I think the film as a whole is very poignant of the times.

DIS-HONOURABLE MENTION:

I'm only mentioning this movie because of how ridiculous, bizarre, crazy and random it was. With all the major stars in the cast, you'd think "Hey, this might be alright." Boy, you'd be wrong. I couldn't believe some of the crazy stuff that happened that isn't even REMOTELY in line with Egyptian myth and lore. I was absolutely baffled. What a gong show.